JimBeamLean5519

User

I'm a Failure

0 views    posted 25 Apr 2012, 07:27    
Definition: an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: His effort ended in failure. The campaign was a failure.

I don't want to be talked down to anymore, and I'm sick inside from becoming so violent over it. I don't give a flying fuck over what anyone thinks about me, except me Mother.

Why can't she see that my violence protects people! Yeah I've been to the County jail many times, but I've also been hailed as a "hero" for fighting off potential rapist in a bar parking lot! Reco0gnize!

Having the person that raised you, and that you love more than any other person or thing on this Earth, consider you to be "less than what he could have been", is the worst feeling you can possibly imagine.

Oh yeah, I shaved
image

Top Comments

12
Rgeneb15224 • 25 Apr 2012, 09:24
Jim, life is a cruel mistress at times and it it often easier to rant and rave at the injustices we suffer at the hands of others. It doesnt matter if those crimes against us are real or imagined our perception is all. No-one ever died from smoking weed - but sometimes it distorts our perceptions so we fight the wrong fight.
Your mother is disappointed in you, the world thinks you are an asshole, of course you are angry. That's OK. But violence just reinforces their opinions it doesnt change them. The ONLY person whose opinion you can change in this merciless world is your own. Accept your mothers opinion - dont believe it bud just accept that she is allowed her opinion. Forget the "most people" - if they think you an asshole then do you really want to know them and their opinions anyway. Concentrate on what YOU can do to make YOUR life better,simpler, more serene. It's not easy but doesnt mean its not worth it.
Finally you aren't a failure. Maybe you have failed in some areas of life, dont we all? No-one is perfect all the time. Define yourself by your successes not by how you fail to meet other peoples expectations.
Man I hope this doesnt sound too preachy, meant it all with a good heart lol
7
SirSeedsAlot103.61K • 25 Apr 2012, 11:21
JBL, I've always admired you for your intelligence. You're only 34 and can still accomplish anything you want in life. Follow your dreams and let Don Quixote fight the windmills by himself.
3
kombuchaGOD2358 • 25 Apr 2012, 16:49
so how many times ya think that the founding fathers went ta jail?
you living life fer you or yer mom?
buck up man and quit feeling sorry for yerself
when I was in military I was so good at killing that when I got out I was, hell maybe still am, fucked up over it.
I did some dasterdly shit fer the US, and with a damn smile on my face and during that time my mom hated me for my actions, when she got spongiform aka MADCOW, it was me and only me of 9 children that made the doctors reveal what she had and follow medical protocols, when the STATE OF TEXAS said they were going to cremate her against our wishes it was me and my squad( not a single sibling) that holed up in the hospital with guns everywhere in a faceoff with the gov over her body and those deputies didnt want any after they ran our socials, we gave them fair warning that they would die if they attempted to have my mom cremated
we were prepared ta die that day, hell it was as good a day as any
so buck up cause in the end you will be the one she appreciates the most, even tho ya proly cant see it now

All Comments

0
DownTownAndy2056 • 28 August 2012, 08:16 Show comment
The best revenge is living well.
0
ccoast196 • 26 April 2012, 08:58 Show comment
hey jim what kind of flowers are those in the back ground of your pic?
0
Keyrlis486 • 26 April 2012, 06:39 Show comment
Brother, I don't know you so will try not to make any assumptions, only offer you some support. I, too, often feel like a disappointment to people that expect more out of me, but I try to remember that each day is an opportunity to make things better for myself, not for them, because people that love you want you to be proud of yourself. I have NOT shaved, mind you, so my words may come out a little fuzzy ;)
Besides, you're Irish, so you can't be a loser, you're just doing the same as I: Saving your luck for when it counts.
I may be miles away and worlds apart, but I'll stand at your side against people who think they are "winners" any day.
1
Shunka12702 • 26 April 2012, 02:49 Show comment
It's your God given right to be an asshole, and opinions are like assholes...everybody has one, so pull up your cute little ladies underwear, thumb your nose at all the haters and carry on my friend.
P.S. Failures don't shave, so you got one up on them already.lol
1
TimeBandits70.57K • 25 April 2012, 19:58 Show comment
Hi Jim, I guessed you've learned the hard way that 'The Tongue Is Sharper Than The Sword'. You have forgotten the reason we fall down Jim, it's so we learn to get up again. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, you know all this because your still standing my friend. Just remember to adopt the old adage of the bull, 'Thick Skin and Keep On Charging'. There is nothing wrong with you, you're GREAT!!!
2
AhrimanThorn29.06K • 25 April 2012, 18:00 Show comment
I don’t know you at all so am in no position to judge what kind of a man you are but you seem to have many friends here who think highly of you, and most here on KAT seem to be fairly good judges of character.
Your mother may well have hoped for different things for you but I am sure in some areas of your life you have done more than she could have wished for. Sometimes it is easier for people to give voice to those things that they are disappointed in than to give praise. It also sounds a little like you know yourself that your temper has created more problems for you than it has solved. The fact that you know it is a problem is half the battle fought, many give vent to their rage without any regret at all and those people usually spend their whole lives fighting problems they themselves have created.
You are clearly a very intelligent man and are also obviously a sensitive enough human being to be bothered by this stuff. That means you have two qualities that many in this world do not possess. Natural aggression of course is sometimes a useful trait to be able to call upon but usually it is a weakness rather than a strength. If you are lucky enough to be intelligent and sensitive as well then those are your real strengths and when you start playing to your strengths rather than your weakness your life will get easier. I wish you the best of luck battling your demons, no matter what advice you are given; those monsters must be fought alone, and it sounds as though you are already at a place in your life where that is a fight you are ready to begin.
3
kombuchaGOD2358 • 25 April 2012, 16:49 Show comment
so how many times ya think that the founding fathers went ta jail?
you living life fer you or yer mom?
buck up man and quit feeling sorry for yerself
when I was in military I was so good at killing that when I got out I was, hell maybe still am, fucked up over it.
I did some dasterdly shit fer the US, and with a damn smile on my face and during that time my mom hated me for my actions, when she got spongiform aka MADCOW, it was me and only me of 9 children that made the doctors reveal what she had and follow medical protocols, when the STATE OF TEXAS said they were going to cremate her against our wishes it was me and my squad( not a single sibling) that holed up in the hospital with guns everywhere in a faceoff with the gov over her body and those deputies didnt want any after they ran our socials, we gave them fair warning that they would die if they attempted to have my mom cremated
we were prepared ta die that day, hell it was as good a day as any
so buck up cause in the end you will be the one she appreciates the most, even tho ya proly cant see it now
0
track3R071918 • 25 April 2012, 14:53 Show comment
well your not a failure'
a failure is someone who is not trying to be good at anything and only lives for himself...and you...are way too far from that!
your might mom might not be seeing the real you but for sure she knows how good you are inside' I simply believe that there are people who say the opposite things (like I hate you etc.) when they truly care for a special person in their life simply because they have faith in them.biggrinwink
0
Snuzeyaluze360 • 25 April 2012, 14:21 Show comment
Sometimes Jim, you just have to discount what everyone else says, and just make yourself happy.
Maybe Mom had higher expectations. I don't know of any Mom that doesnt want her siblings to be totally happy. Maybe you just overlook the good qualities that Mom sees in you. And I'm sure there are many your Mom sees.
And most importantly, you seem to overlook the good qualities that you see in yourself. You have worth. You have meaning. Look inside yourself, never discount yourself, and enjoy your life.
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