Two and a Half Men

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  • Original run: 22 September 2003 — Present
  • Summary:
    A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
    Submitted by Thhaque330.83K
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Season 12

Episode 04 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Episode 03 Glamping in a Yurt
Episode 02 A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Episode 01 The Ol’ Mexican Spinach
Thursday, Oct 30 2014

Season 11

Episode 22 Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Thursday, May 8 2014
Episode 21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Thursday, May 1 2014
Episode 20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Thursday, Apr 24 2014
Episode 19 Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
Thursday, Apr 10 2014
Episode 18 West Side Story
Thursday, Apr 3 2014
Episode 17 Welcome Home, Jake
Thursday, Mar 13 2014
Episode 16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Thursday, Mar 6 2014
Episode 15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Thursday, Feb 27 2014
Episode 14 Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
Thursday, Feb 6 2014
Episode 13 Bite Me, Supreme Court
Thursday, Jan 30 2014
Episode 12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Thursday, Jan 9 2014
Episode 11 Tazed In The Lady Nuts
Thursday, Jan 2 2014
Episode 10 On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Thursday, Dec 12 2013
Episode 09 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Thursday, Dec 5 2013
Episode 08 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room
Thursday, Nov 21 2013
Episode 07 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Thursday, Nov 14 2013
Episode 06 Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Thursday, Nov 7 2013
Episode 05 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Thursday, Oct 24 2013
Episode 04 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Thursday, Oct 17 2013
Episode 03 This Unblessed Biscuit
Thursday, Oct 10 2013
Episode 02 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Thursday, Oct 3 2013
Episode 01 Nangnangnangnang
Thursday, Sep 26 2013

Season 10

Episode 23 Cows, Prepare To Be Tipped
Thursday, May 9 2013
Episode 22 My Bodacious Vidalia
Thursday, May 2 2013
Episode 21 Another Night With Neil Diamond
Thursday, Apr 25 2013
Episode 20 Bazinga! That's From A TV Show
Thursday, Apr 4 2013
Episode 19 Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon
Thursday, Mar 14 2013
Episode 18 The 9:04 From Pemberton
Thursday, Mar 7 2013
Episode 17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Thursday, Feb 21 2013
Episode 16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Thursday, Feb 14 2013
Episode 15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Thursday, Feb 7 2013
Episode 14 Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Thursday, Jan 31 2013
Episode 13 Grab A Feather And Get In Line
Thursday, Jan 10 2013
Episode 12 Welcome to Alancrest
Thursday, Jan 3 2013
Episode 11 Give Santa A Tail-Hole
Thursday, Dec 13 2012
Episode 10 One Nut Johnson
Thursday, Dec 6 2012
Episode 09 I Scream When I Pee
Thursday, Nov 29 2012
Episode 08 Something My Gynecologist Said
Thursday, Nov 15 2012
Episode 07 Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Thursday, Nov 8 2012
Episode 06 Ferrets, Attack!
Thursday, Nov 1 2012
Episode 05 That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam
Thursday, Oct 25 2012
Episode 04 You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For
Thursday, Oct 18 2012
Episode 03 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Thursday, Oct 11 2012
Episode 02 A Big Bag of Dog
Thursday, Oct 4 2012
Episode 01 I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Thursday, Sep 27 2012

Season 09

Episode 24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Monday, May 14 2012
Episode 23 The Straw In My Donut Hole
Monday, May 7 2012
Episode 22 Why We Gave Up Women
Monday, Apr 30 2012
Episode 21 Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Monday, Apr 16 2012
Episode 20 Grandma's Pie
Monday, Apr 9 2012
Episode 19 Palmdale, Ech
Monday, Mar 19 2012
Episode 18 The War Against Gingivitis
Monday, Feb 27 2012
Episode 17 Not In My Mouth
Monday, Feb 20 2012
Episode 16 Sips, Sonnets And Sodomy
Monday, Feb 13 2012
Episode 15 The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack
Monday, Feb 6 2012
Episode 14 A Possum on Chemo
Monday, Jan 16 2012
Episode 13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Monday, Jan 2 2012
Episode 12 One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Monday, Dec 12 2011
Episode 11 What a Lovely Landing Strip
Monday, Dec 5 2011
Episode 10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Monday, Nov 21 2011
Episode 09 Frodo’s Headshots
Monday, Nov 14 2011
Episode 08 Thank You For The Intercourse
Monday, Nov 7 2011
Episode 07 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Monday, Oct 31 2011
Episode 06 The Squat and The Hover
Monday, Oct 24 2011
Episode 05 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Monday, Oct 17 2011
Episode 04 Nine Magic Fingers
Monday, Oct 10 2011
Episode 03 Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Monday, Oct 3 2011
Episode 02 People Who Love Peepholes (2)
Monday, Sep 26 2011
Episode 01 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt (1)
Monday, Sep 19 2011

Season 08

Episode 16 That Darn Priest
Monday, Feb 14 2011
Episode 15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Monday, Feb 7 2011
Episode 14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Monday, Jan 17 2011
Episode 13 Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Monday, Jan 3 2011
Episode 12 Chocolate Diddlers Or My Puppy's Dead
Monday, Dec 13 2010
Episode 11 Dead From The Waist Down
Monday, Dec 6 2010
Episode 10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Monday, Nov 22 2010
Episode 09 A Good Time in Central Africa
Monday, Nov 15 2010
Episode 08 Springtime On A Stick
Monday, Nov 8 2010
Episode 07 The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Monday, Nov 1 2010
Episode 06 Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Monday, Oct 25 2010
Episode 05 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Monday, Oct 18 2010
Episode 04 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Monday, Oct 11 2010
Episode 03 A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Monday, Oct 4 2010
Episode 02 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Monday, Sep 27 2010
Episode 01 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Monday, Sep 20 2010

Season 07

Episode 22 This Is Not Gonna End Well
Monday, May 24 2010
Episode 21 Gumby with a Pokey
Monday, May 17 2010
Episode 20 I Called Him Magoo
Monday, May 10 2010
Episode 19 Keith Moon is Vomiting in his Grave
Monday, Apr 12 2010
Episode 18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Monday, Mar 22 2010
Episode 17 I Found Your Mustache
Monday, Mar 8 2010
Episode 16 Tinkle Like a Princess
Monday, Mar 1 2010
Episode 15 Aye, Aye, Captain
Monday, Feb 8 2010
Episode 14 Crude and Uncalled For
Monday, Feb 1 2010
Episode 13 Yay, No Polyps!
Monday, Jan 18 2010
Episode 12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Monday, Jan 11 2010
Episode 11 Warning, It's Dirty
Monday, Dec 14 2009
Episode 10 That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Monday, Dec 7 2009
Episode 09 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Monday, Nov 23 2009
Episode 08 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Monday, Nov 16 2009
Episode 07 Untainted by Filth
Monday, Nov 9 2009
Episode 06 Give Me Your Thumb
Monday, Nov 2 2009
Episode 05 For the Sake of the Child
Monday, Oct 19 2009
Episode 04 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Monday, Oct 12 2009
Episode 03 Mmm, fish. Yum.
Monday, Oct 5 2009
Episode 02 Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Monday, Sep 28 2009
Episode 01 818-jklpuzo
Monday, Sep 21 2009

Season 06

Episode 24 Baseball with Better Steroids
Monday, May 18 2009
Episode 23 Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Monday, May 11 2009
Episode 22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Monday, May 4 2009
Episode 21 Above Exalted Cyclops
Monday, Apr 27 2009
Episode 20 Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Monday, Apr 13 2009
Episode 19 The Two Finger Rule
Monday, Mar 30 2009
Episode 18 My Son's Enormous Head
Monday, Mar 16 2009
Episode 17 The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'?
Monday, Mar 9 2009
Episode 16 She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
Monday, Mar 2 2009
Episode 15 I'd Like to Start With the Cat
Monday, Feb 9 2009
Episode 14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Monday, Feb 2 2009
Episode 13 I Think You Offended Don
Monday, Jan 19 2009
Episode 12 Thank God for Scoliosis
Monday, Jan 12 2009
Episode 11 The Devil's Lube
Monday, Dec 15 2008
Episode 10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Monday, Dec 8 2008
Episode 09 The Mooch At The Boo
Monday, Nov 24 2008
Episode 08 Pinocchio's Mouth
Monday, Nov 17 2008
Episode 07 Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Monday, Nov 10 2008
Episode 06 It's Always Nazi Week
Monday, Nov 3 2008
Episode 05 A Jock Strap In Hell
Monday, Oct 20 2008
Episode 04 The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Monday, Oct 13 2008
Episode 03 Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Monday, Oct 6 2008
Episode 02 Pie Hole, Herb
Monday, Sep 29 2008
Episode 01 Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Monday, Sep 22 2008

Season 05

Episode 19 Waiting for the Right Snapper
Monday, May 19 2008
Episode 18 If My Hole Could Talk
Monday, May 12 2008
Episode 17 Fish in a Drawer
Monday, May 5 2008
Episode 16 Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Monday, Apr 28 2008
Episode 15 Rough Night in Hump Junction
Monday, Apr 21 2008
Episode 14 Winky-Dink Time
Monday, Apr 14 2008
Episode 13 The Soil is Moist
Monday, Mar 31 2008
Episode 12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Monday, Mar 24 2008
Episode 11 Meander To Your Dander
Monday, Mar 17 2008
Episode 10 Kinda Like Necrophilia
Monday, Nov 26 2007
Episode 09 Tight's Good
Monday, Nov 19 2007
Episode 08 Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Monday, Nov 12 2007
Episode 07 The Leather Gear Is In The Guest Room
Monday, Nov 5 2007
Episode 06 Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Monday, Oct 29 2007
Episode 05 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Monday, Oct 22 2007
Episode 04 City of Great Racks
Monday, Oct 15 2007
Episode 03 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Monday, Oct 8 2007
Episode 02 Media Room Slash Dungeon
Monday, Oct 1 2007
Episode 01 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Monday, Sep 24 2007

Season 04

Episode 24 Prostitutes and Gelato
Monday, May 14 2007
Episode 23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
Monday, May 7 2007
Episode 22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Monday, Apr 30 2007
Episode 21 Tucked, Taped & Gorgeous
Monday, Apr 23 2007
Episode 20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot (2)
Monday, Apr 16 2007
Episode 19 Smooth as a Ken Doll (1)
Monday, Apr 9 2007
Episode 18 It Never Rains in Hooterville
Monday, Mar 19 2007
Episode 17 I Merely Slept with a Commie
Monday, Feb 26 2007
Episode 16 Young People Have Phlegm Too
Monday, Feb 19 2007
Episode 15 My Damn Stalker
Monday, Feb 12 2007
Episode 14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Monday, Feb 5 2007
Episode 13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Monday, Jan 22 2007
Episode 12 Castrating Sheep in Montana
Monday, Jan 8 2007
Episode 11 Walnuts and Demerol
Monday, Dec 11 2006
Episode 10 Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Monday, Nov 27 2006
Episode 09 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Monday, Nov 20 2006
Episode 08 Release the Dogs
Monday, Nov 13 2006
Episode 07 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Monday, Nov 6 2006
Episode 06 Apologies for the Frivolity
Monday, Oct 23 2006
Episode 05 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Monday, Oct 16 2006
Episode 04 A Pot Smoking Monkey
Monday, Oct 9 2006
Episode 03 The Sea is a Harsh Mistress
Monday, Oct 2 2006
Episode 02 Who's Vod Kanockers
Monday, Sep 25 2006
Episode 01 Working for Caligula
Monday, Sep 18 2006

Season 03

Episode 24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Monday, May 22 2006
Episode 23 Arguments for the Quickie
Monday, May 15 2006
Episode 22 Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Monday, May 8 2006
Episode 21 And the Plot Moistens
Monday, May 1 2006
Episode 20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Monday, Apr 24 2006
Episode 19 Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
Monday, Apr 10 2006
Episode 18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Monday, Mar 20 2006
Episode 17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
Monday, Mar 13 2006
Episode 16 Ergo, The Booty Call
Monday, Mar 6 2006
Episode 15 My Tongue is Meat
Monday, Feb 27 2006
Episode 14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Monday, Feb 6 2006
Episode 13 Humiliation is a Visual Medium
Monday, Jan 23 2006
Episode 12 That Special Tug
Monday, Jan 9 2006
Episode 11 Santa's Village of the Damned
Monday, Dec 19 2005
Episode 10 Something Salted and Twisted
Monday, Nov 28 2005
Episode 09 Madame and Her Special Friend
Monday, Nov 21 2005
Episode 08 That Voodoo That I Do Do
Monday, Nov 14 2005
Episode 07 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Monday, Nov 7 2005
Episode 06 Hi, Mr. Horned One
Monday, Oct 24 2005
Episode 05 We Called It Mr. Pinky
Monday, Oct 17 2005
Episode 04 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Monday, Oct 10 2005
Episode 03 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Monday, Oct 3 2005
Episode 02 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Monday, Sep 26 2005
Episode 01 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Monday, Sep 19 2005

Season 02

Episode 24 Does This Smell Funny to You?
Monday, May 23 2005
Episode 23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Monday, May 16 2005
Episode 22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Monday, May 9 2005
Episode 21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Monday, May 2 2005
Episode 20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Monday, Apr 18 2005
Episode 19 A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise
Monday, Mar 21 2005
Episode 18 It Was Mame, Mom
Monday, Mar 7 2005
Episode 17 Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
Monday, Feb 21 2005
Episode 16 Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Monday, Feb 14 2005
Episode 15 Smell the Umbrella Stand
Monday, Feb 7 2005
Episode 14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Monday, Jan 31 2005
Episode 13 Zejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My Hair
Monday, Jan 17 2005
Episode 12 A Lungful of Alan
Monday, Jan 3 2005
Episode 11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Monday, Dec 13 2004
Episode 10 The Salmon Under My Sweater
Monday, Nov 29 2004
Episode 09 Yes, Monsignor
Monday, Nov 22 2004
Episode 08 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Monday, Nov 15 2004
Episode 07 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Monday, Nov 8 2004
Episode 06 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Monday, Oct 25 2004
Episode 05 Bad News from the Clinic
Monday, Oct 18 2004
Episode 04 Go Get Mommy's Bra
Monday, Oct 11 2004
Episode 03 A Bag Full of Jawea
Monday, Oct 4 2004
Episode 02 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Monday, Sep 27 2004
Episode 01 Back Off Mary Poppins
Monday, Sep 20 2004

Season 01

Episode 24 Can You Feel My Finger?
Monday, May 24 2004
Episode 23 Just Like Buffalo
Monday, May 17 2004
Episode 22 My Doctor has a Cow Puppet
Monday, May 10 2004
Episode 21 No Sniffing, No Wowing
Monday, May 3 2004
Episode 20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Monday, Apr 19 2004
Episode 19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Monday, Mar 22 2004
Episode 18 An Old Flame With a New Wick
Monday, Mar 1 2004
Episode 17 Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats
Monday, Feb 23 2004
Episode 16 That Was Saliva, Alan (2)
Monday, Feb 16 2004
Episode 15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)
Monday, Feb 9 2004
Episode 14 I Can't Afford Hyenas
Monday, Feb 2 2004
Episode 13 Sarah Like Puny Alan
Monday, Jan 12 2004
Episode 12 Camel Filters + Pheromones
Monday, Jan 5 2004
Episode 11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Monday, Dec 15 2003
Episode 10 Merry Thanksgiving
Monday, Nov 24 2003
Episode 09 Phase One, Complete
Monday, Nov 17 2003
Episode 08 Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
Monday, Nov 10 2003
Episode 07 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Monday, Nov 3 2003
Episode 06 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Monday, Oct 27 2003
Episode 05 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
Monday, Oct 20 2003
Episode 04 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap
Monday, Oct 13 2003
Episode 03 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Monday, Oct 6 2003
Episode 02 Big Flappy Bastards
Monday, Sep 29 2003
Episode 01 Pilot
Monday, Sep 22 2003

Top Comments

2
Mr.Blonde179.23K • 04 Oct 2013, 23:44
Did the one naming S11E01 have a stroke or something? nagnangnagnangan seems bit weird lol.

All Comments

1
TRJGaming4 • 02 September 2014, 16:35 Show comment
I like Charlie more than Ashton.
0
loverboy9111 • 01 October 2014, 13:23 Show comment
yeah charlie was the soul of the show, really missing him when gone.
1
Denial00716 • 15 June 2014, 19:51 Show comment
What happened to the series now. No release after Season 11 Episode 22 ?? Anyone have any idea ??
1
Denial00716 • 08 February 2014, 07:01 Show comment
Really very funny just, i like them both this one and Seinfeld.

1
arsenico6056 • 15 December 2013, 09:04 Show comment
super ......funny ....the best series...biggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin
2
Mr.Blonde179.23K • 04 October 2013, 23:44 Show comment
Did the one naming S11E01 have a stroke or something? nagnangnagnangan seems bit weird lol.
0
crcjetty1 • 20 June 2014, 21:43 Show comment
it refers to when Alan was breastfeeding off his mother
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