posted 21 Jul 2012, 02:17
The day I lost 4/5 of my rep I didn't really care. Then I got a call from my Dad. He has cancer. I still really didn't care about my rep. A couple of days later some psychopath unleashes a deadly deluge of bullets upon common-place patrons of a cinema and still I see people giving a shit about their rep. I'm absolutely positive that more atrocities than I know about have occurred. Fuck your little power trip shit. Care about thy neighbor. Care about thy family. Fuck your high-score. Btw I love KAT.▼62 comments
posted 31 Mar 2012, 20:33
In honor of the festivities here are some really bad banana jokes.▼21 comments
Q: What do you call two banana skins?
A: A pair of slippers
Q: Why did the banana go to see the doctor?
A: The banana was not peeling very well.
Q: Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music?
A: Because if you don’t C sharp you ll B flat.
Q: What is long and yellow and always points north?
A: A magnetic banana.
Q: Why are bananas never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
Q: What is a ghost favorite fruit ?
A: Boonanaa !
Q: How do you catch King Kong?
A: Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
Q: What’s the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?
A: Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.
Q: What’s yellow and flashes?
A: A banana with a loose connection.
Tom: What did the banana say to the elephant?
Nick: I don’t know.
Tom: Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.
Q: How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana?
A: Try picking it up. If you can't, it’s either a monster or a giant banana.
Enjoy or face-palm, your choice. :)
posted 18 Dec 2011, 16:19
This is a link to WTF is SOPA ? aka The American Government trying to ruin the internet on Youtube.▼14 comments
Your text to link here...
I apologize if you've already seen this but I know not everyone uses Youtube and I thought this was worth watching.
posted 19 Oct 2011, 15:10
Came across this in a book and figured I'd share▼21 comments
The main difference between beer and ale is that ale uses a yeast that floats to the top when it's done fermenting, and it isn't aged, which gives it a fruitier taste. Beer uses a yeast that sinks to the bottom is aged.
Lager means "storehouse" in German - in other words, aged beer. It's your basic, pale, highly carbonated standard American beer.
The name comes from a beer made in the Bohemian town of Pilsen. It's an especially light, smooth beer.
"Stout" once meant "strong" rather than fat, and that's why this dark, malty ale got that name in the nineteenth century.
The name is short for "porter's ale," and supposedly came because produce carriers - or porters - of eighteenth century London preferred drinking it. In early America, this ale was served in what became known as "porterhouses"; one such tavern in New York City popularized the "porterhouse steak" in about 1814.
A strong beer usually manufactured in fall or winter, bock may have as much as twice the alcohol as lager. The name comes from Einbock (pronounced Inebock), in Germany. In the United States, bock beer is sometimes made from the sediment left in the beer-fermentation vats.
It's dark only because brewers roast the malt before brewing with it.
For those who wanted to get wasted more efficiently, malt liquor is merely lager beer with a higher alcohol content, usually produced by adding sugar to the batch to give the yeast more to work with.
Please refute any misinformation here or add to it if you'd like. :)
posted 19 Oct 2011, 04:07
The Woodman and the Serpent▼7 comments
One wintry day a Woodman was tramping home from his work when he saw something black lying on the snow. When he came closer he saw it was a Serpent to all appearance dead. But he took it up and put it in his bosom to warm while he hurried home. As soon as he got indoors he put the serpent down on the hearth before the fire. The children watched it and saw it slowly come to life again.Then one of them stooped down to stroke it, but the Serpent raised its head and put out its fangs and was about to sting the child to death. So the Woodman seized his axe, and with one stroke cut the Serpent in two. "Ah," said he,
"No gratitude from the wicked."
The Man and the Wood
A Man came into a Wood one day with an axe in his hand, and begged all the Trees to give him a small branch which he wanted for a particular purpose. The Trees were good-natured and gave him one of their branches. What did the man do but fit it into the axe head, and soon set to work cutting down tree after tree. Then the Trees saw how foolish they had been.
Don't give an enemy the means to destroy you.
The Bald Man and the Fly
There was once a Bald Man who sat down after work on a hot summer's day. A fly came up and kept buzzing about his bald pate, and stinging him from time to time. The Man aimed a blow at his little enemy, but WHACK! His palm landed on his head instead; again the Fly tormented him, but this time the Man was wiser and said:
"You will only injure yourself if you take notice of despicable enemies."
The Fox and the Mask
A Fox had by some means gotten into the storeroom of a theatre. Suddenly he observed a face glaring down on him and began to be very frightened; but looking more closely he found it was only a Mask such as actors use to put over their face. "Ah," said the Fox, "you look very fine; it is a pity you have not got any brains."
Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth.
posted 12 Oct 2011, 15:19
1) How do elephants communicate?▼14 comments
They talk on the elephone.
2) How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
His footprints are in the jello.
3) How can you tell if two elephants have been in your refrigerator?
There are two sets of footprints in the jello.
4) How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
The door won't close.
5) How many hippos will fit in the refrigerator?
None. There are too many elephants in there.
6) How do you make an elephant float?
Two scoops of ice cream, a bottle of cola, and one elephant.
7) Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in the strawberry patch.
8) But there aren't any elephants in the strawberry patch!
See? It's working.
9) How do you get an elephant to the top of an oak tree?
Plant an acorn under him and wait fifty years.
10) How do you get an elephant down from an oak tree?
Tell him to sit on a leaf and wait until fall.
11) What's the difference between an elephant and an egg?
You don't know? I guess I'm not sending YOU to the store!
12) What do you do with a blue elephant?
Cheer him up.
13) How do you keep an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit cards.
14) Why were the elephants kicked off the beach?
They were walking around with their trunks down.
15) Why do ducks have flat feet?
From stomping out forest fires.
16) Why do elephants have flat feet?
From stomping out burning ducks.
17) How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't - you get down from a duck.