Pick_n_Roll20852

Super User

Life's been a tragedy for me.....

0 views    posted 21 Jun 2012, 08:11    
Now am gonna post the story of my life as short as possible.

I was born on 26th October, 1994. Born in a state of poverty, my father was and still is a government officer and my mother always been a house wife. I have 2 sisters both elder, so naturally am the youngest in my family.

We shifted to another state which split from the state I was born in. I was admitted in school at the age of 5 I guess (which was 1 year late :P). I was kickass in studies, scored highest marks in a minimum of 4 subjects in every exams till standard 8th it all changed (once in 6th standard I got the best student award, got first prize in Quiz for 3 consecutive years which still is a record). I loved FOOTBALL more than any sports, and so I had the record of 139 goals in my former school (I have been in only 2 schools till now) which still is a record (I played ST). I didn't watched football on TV though. Beside it I like Cricket (Indian sports most loved). My group had best students and kinda multi-talented guys. I talked to girls a lot :P

I started degrading my studies from 7th standard, which kept increasing year by year and got worsened till 10th standard and scored only 84% in 10th final examinations. Then my father was transferred to another city in the same state which is the capital city too. Till then I was the biggest noob in computer and electronics stuffs, I only played Road Rash, Dave and Midtown Madness. We came to this city, but the time we shifted the admissions in school had stopped but somehow got into this one-of-the-most-expensive school because of my fathers position and sources.

My downfall was just started and it reached to climax when I reached into 11th standard and failed in 4 subjects (Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Computer Science). From the beginning, my parents didn't allowed me goto outside and meet my friends much, I spent and still spend most of the time in home (but now I tell lies to go outside with my friends lol). I got addicted to the evil box called TV. But I loved my passion for computer (and till date I love my PC, been using my PC for 11 years now, specs changed though). After spending more and more time on internet I started losing my social skills, I became a shy guy, stopped talking to girls in school and got frustrated inside and now full of anger (someday I will beat that teacher who hit me).

But in 2011 when I got my graphics card and started playing cool games and one of em was NBA 2K9 and then NBA 2K12 I got involved in Basketball a lot (a still my favorite game though I don't play it) and also USA. I told my parents and sisters I want to become NBA player, wanna goto America and get coached, obviously they thought I can't make it and dreams shattered. I failed again in 11th final examinations, had the chance to repeat 11th but they took re-test and I cleared it, huh. I started losing faith in GOD and alas lost it completely (I haven't said GOD for 6 months now, just type it sometimes here).

Note: When I was at best stage my sisters were poor in studies and I always teased them (also in front of my friends sometime) which I regret till date. When I started getting poorer my sister topped in Biology in school in 12th final exams and I learned think before you speak. She never boasted about herself but proved my doing so. I was ashamed.

Till date am pursuing the DOWNFALL, am low on confidence, self-esteem and have no life, no soul and no inspiration. Till date I don't know why I goto school and why I am on this earth. I am jealous of lot of people.

I am gutted I can't payback my parents what they expected of me. My father was University and State topper and well-know personality in the state unlike me.

And that's why I call myself a LOSER because I am and now I don't fake to be cool, I am what I am.

Lastly, the person I love the most in my life is my Grand Mother (Father's mother), she's the most cute person I've ever seen in my life.

Regards

P.S. Will post a Part. 2 with little bit more which I missed here.

Top Comments

9
Rgeneb15209 • 21 Jun 2012, 13:29
You became a shy person, had difficulty talking to girls, got frustrated and angry easily, your self esteem bottomed out and you find no joy in answering questions such as "why am I here?".
I ahte to break it to you buddy but all that doesn't make you a LOSER - it just makes you a teenager.
.
Stop taking life so seriously, stop looking for reasons to dislike yourself (we can all find those if we look for them) and instead just be yourself and you will find similar sould who appreciate you.
.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, stop telling people you grandmother is the cutest person you have ever seen. That just sounds wrong, lol
4
kakarrot1969 • 21 Jun 2012, 13:37
thats no tragedy kid...you have seen nothing yet
4
SirSeedsAlot87.26K • 21 Jun 2012, 14:05
sounds a bit like self-pity and nothing good comes from that. If you project a negative self-image then people will pick up on that. I have no words of wisdom other than pursue your passion.

All Comments

1
kinder77139 • 21 June 2012, 22:43 Show comment
First restore your faith. You'll cant pursue if you havent got it. Then go see a psychologist, you need one.
1
Nekko400 • 21 June 2012, 19:04 Show comment
So...you're essentially 17-18, shy, and having difficulty in school. Dude, pull yourself by your bootstraps and get back at it. Not to be mean, but this is a pretty weak excuse for you to be down about yourself. To your credit, you are learning from your mistakes (in regards to thinking before you speak), but out of everything you've written, there is NOTHING there that MILLIONS of kids have dealt with, will deal with, or are dealing with right now.
Find something that you enjoy doing. Sports, reading, anime, whatever, I honestly don't care. Find a group that focuses on that particular activity, and BOOM! Before you know you are meeting people with whom you relate. Or try getting into art: try metal-smithing, or jewelry-making, or painting, or drawing. Again, you'll meet like-minded people.
Go outside! Throw rocks! Do stupid things! Take up survivalist training and go camping! It doesn't matter as long as you get out and do something. Living a sedentary lifestyle won't make you the pride of your family, it will only lead to regret, indecisiveness, and depression.
Or go out and find a job (if, with the unemployment rate at 8.2 %, you can actually find a job at all).
Either way, you need to buck up, shut up, and get going. Also, stop caring what other people think. Once you let go of your morals, everything becomes funny.
3
AhrimanThorn27.04K • 21 June 2012, 18:33 Show comment
You did better than nearly everyone else around you when you were enjoying what you were doing, which means you have something that cannot be taught, you have intelligence. Of course people can make themselves cleverer by studying but that’s not the same as intelligence that’s knowledge. If you want to go back to being really good at the subjects you are failing in at the moment, then all you have to do is remember what it was you used to enjoy about learning. Remember that, and you can do again what you used to being able to do with ease, because your brain hasn’t changed; only your attitude.
2
ogwantfood516 • 21 June 2012, 15:42 Show comment
You're only 17.
Get your shit together.
if necessary, spend less time downloading and watching movies, playing games and concentrate on your school.
get good grades, get regular exercise and you'll have a bright future ahead of you.
1
Pick_n_Roll20.85K • 21 June 2012, 15:47 Show comment
the thing is am stuck to my PC, can't get away!
2
ogwantfood516 • 21 June 2012, 16:37 Show comment
Being up to date with your work and having no anxiety over exams surely beats last minute studying, school work, poor grades and even when playing games, watching movies, you're constantly worried about school ( am i wrong?) Instead why not balance study and play?
You really need to set time tables then. Between say x and y hours is strictly study time, NO TV, NO Internet. it will be difficult in the start but it will get easier as it becomes a habit.
After you've finished your day's studying, work, treat yourself to some chocolates, games, movies so you can enjoy while not feeling guilty and worried about your school work and future and feeling sorry for yourself about your supposed tragedy. In psychology, it's called positive reinforcement.
give yourself a reward for studying every time.
3
GenX5370 • 21 June 2012, 15:41 Show comment
Anyone who loves his grandmother the way you do is no loser. Perhaps you need to take a step back and view yourself with fresh eyes. Try to take disappointment in stride and put it into perspective. You have people around you who love you. Find three interests and pursue them. One will become clearer to you and the other two will become more like hobbies. You have such a natural love for computers I recommend thinking of studying something computer-related. It would also be something to fall back on (make a living from) if pursuing another dream becomes a bit more difficult than you anticipated. Best wishes! :)
2
Rgeneb15209 • 21 June 2012, 17:17 Show comment
Nicely put loveliness
1
GenX5370 • 21 June 2012, 23:04 Show comment
Thank you, dah-link :)
PS: Love da smexy avatar!
4
SirSeedsAlot87.26K • 21 June 2012, 14:05 Show comment
sounds a bit like self-pity and nothing good comes from that. If you project a negative self-image then people will pick up on that. I have no words of wisdom other than pursue your passion.
4
kakarrot1969 • 21 June 2012, 13:37 Show comment
thats no tragedy kid...you have seen nothing yet
9
Rgeneb15209 • 21 June 2012, 13:29 Show comment
You became a shy person, had difficulty talking to girls, got frustrated and angry easily, your self esteem bottomed out and you find no joy in answering questions such as "why am I here?".
I ahte to break it to you buddy but all that doesn't make you a LOSER - it just makes you a teenager.
.
Stop taking life so seriously, stop looking for reasons to dislike yourself (we can all find those if we look for them) and instead just be yourself and you will find similar sould who appreciate you.
.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, stop telling people you grandmother is the cutest person you have ever seen. That just sounds wrong, lol
1
Pick_n_Roll20.85K • 21 June 2012, 13:41 Show comment
lol that last line, I mean she is really cute in respectful manner!
2
GenX5370 • 21 June 2012, 17:15 Show comment
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, stop telling people you grandmother is the cutest person you have ever seen. That just sounds wrong, lol


lol that last line, I mean she is really cute in respectful manner!

Don't you listen to him lol It's adorable of you! :)
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